Go ahead and argue, it’s good for your health!

Go ahead and argue, it's good for your health | MSNBC

"People who held in tension had higher levels of stress hormone the next day, study says. The results show when people experience tension with someone, whether their boss, spouse, or child, sidestepping confrontation could be bad for their health. Avoiding conflict was associated with more symptoms of physical problems the next day than was actually engaging in an argument."

Anger Fuels Better Decisions | LiveScience

"Despite its reputation as an impetus to rash behavior, anger actually seems to help people make better choices—even aiding those who are usually very poor at thinking rationally. This could be because angry people base their decisions on the cues that "really matter" rather than things that can be called irrelevant or a distraction."

Hmmm... so maybe it is GOOD for the health of Ephraimites to occasionally engage in some tense arguments and disagreements? Such a notion is certainly a radical change of perspective... for in the last decade or more, the argumentative and opinionated nature of many within the ever-growing Messianic/Hebraic-roots movement has garnered quite the bad wrap.

In the process of the last few years, I've tried to observe Jew-dah's perception on the value of disagreements. Generally, Jew-dah seems to have perfected this art and tapped into its power without destroying themselves and their relationships (which seems to be more a cultural manifestation than a genetic one). However, Ephraim has trained the sword of passionate dissent with the grace and elegance one would expect from a toddler on ice skates. We certainly have much to learn, but my fear is that we may swing to the other extreme of NEVER engaging in heated discussions because of the pain we've seen and felt in the past. I've been guilty of this more and more... where I've chosen to remain silent out of fear, not out of wisdom.

The instruction to "be angry, but sin not" (Psalm 4:4; Ephesians 4:26) would be an invaluable insight in this. If we're able to remove our own individual sin of pride, arrogance, self-centeredness, and malice before entering heated discussions, then I think we would fair much better at the END of those discussions. For example, if we try to use words like "we," "our," and "us" during the conflict, instead of words like "I," "you," and "me," individuals are less likely to perceive the conflict as a personal assault and the subject at hand is better compartmentalized. Unfortunately, many times hidden malice is involved... which makes the process much more dangerous to relationships.

The first study above also found that avoiding conflict was associated with having more physical symptoms of nausea or aches and pains the morning after. This also reminds me of Psalm 4:4/Ephesians 4:26 which both indicate we shouldn't go to bed without dealing with our anger (which usually entails a confrontation with someone).

Shalom mishpacha!

Your non-accredited social scientist,
Hanok ben-Isaak